Been a long time since I've posted. I've been extremely busy dealing with motherhood and work but I decided to finally update and tell you about this morning which mimics many other semi-disastrous mornings where I have a mini freak out about how I'm going to get ready on time with Maverick and how miraculously I somehow get my shit together (even if it's half assed) and luckily make it to work on time.
So this morning I ended up sleeping in until 6 by accident. I try my best to wake up at 5 but this morning when the alarm went off and I told Alexa to stop I ended up falling back to sleep. I immediately started freaking out because Maverick got clingy and I wasn't able to leave him in bed sleeping. I had to hold him while he was latched on and sleeping wondering how I was going to weigh myself, get dressed, get my make up on, my lunch bag together, eat breakfast, make coffee all while I mourned the chance of not getting to any of the dishes that are currently overflowing in our sink. My mom is also in the hospital right now which is sucking up some of my time because after work on certain days that I have the time to do it, I have to go see how she's doing for a short time before I get home. I was flipping out and muttering to myself which I do when I'm stressed out and I ended up waking up my husband. He thinks he's getting sick so I felt bad for waking him up. Maverick also ended up waking up but he was still latched on to my boob so I was trying to get dressed and keep my toddler latched on. (Yes I'm still breastfeeding at 14 months - I'm surprised because my supply was low when I started)
Let me explain how some mornings go for me. If I get to leave Maverick in bed and I managed to get dressed and weigh myself he usually ends up stirring at some point because he kind of wakes up and realizes I'm not with him cuddling. So I go grab him and he latches onto my boob and if he ends up going back to sleep I end up spending the rest of my time getting ready while he's latched onto my boob. This involves me doing yoga like moves in the morning to finish eating breakfast, drinking coffee, putting my lunch bag together etc. Some mornings I get back into bed with him after I'm ready and hang out awhile reading a book until I can leave him sleeping in bed and than I gather my stuff and leave the house.
Back to this morning Shawn ended up grabbing him so I can put my dress on and he ended up helping me get my leggings on while Mav was latched on. After I got dressed I grabbed my now awake toddler wondering how I was going to get ready with the short time I had left and get Mav ready. I started making oatmeal for Maverick and oatmeal for myself. I also gathered the make up I was going to wear so I could start putting it on. So I was simultaneously feeding my son and myself oatmeal and putting on make up. I also gave Maverick a spoon so he could try feeding himself some oatmeal so I ended up having to wipe his face and hands as he fought me because he doesn't like the wipes.
Maverick was getting tired he's not a morning baby so he ended up latching back on while I ended up finishing my make up and he ended up falling asleep again latched onto me. By this time it was almost 7:30 my targeted leaving time (it doesn't always happen). I poured water in my water bottle, downed my cup of coffee, got the dirty dishes in the overloaded sink, poured out my electrolyte water, squatted in front of the fridge and threw whole packages of vegetarian turkey, cheese, and all 5 low carb wraps I have left, plus a protein shake and an overload of cheese sticks into my lunch bag. When Mav is latched on there's no way I'm able to portion out what I need for lunch so often I just put the whole pack of something in my lunch bag and bring the leftover home. Miraculously I had an easy time getting this sleeping toddler back into bed while I made two trips up and down the stairs to get what I need for the morning and leave the house.
I also spilled yogurt which I managed to half ass clean with leftover wet ones, I have a yogurt stain on my shoes which I have to get out with shout wipes or throw the shoes in the wash machine later.
So that's an example of one of my hot mess semi-disastrous mornings. I'm grateful I made work on time (since I was spoken to about a month ago for consistent lateness and have had to make a better effort to get here on time), and I'm happy that I was able to get Mav back into bed easily sometimes it's a long process.
I spent my drive full of conflicting emotion. I'm so happy I have a child and I'm so happy I have my husband with me to help take care of him but to me it's hard sometimes. My problems are also so small compared to many burdens other people face and I feel bad for complaining. I'm listening to a book on tape right now that takes place during the holocaust. I think things are hard for me yet the mom's in the book I'm reading now had it so much harder because they had to take care of their kids in a camp with horrible conditions or had to hide their children from German soldiers if they could. They had it brutal, here I am with the freedom to be out in the world with my child and I'm complaining about first world problems of mother hood I feel awful and grateful at the same time.
So this morning I ended up sleeping in until 6 by accident. I try my best to wake up at 5 but this morning when the alarm went off and I told Alexa to stop I ended up falling back to sleep. I immediately started freaking out because Maverick got clingy and I wasn't able to leave him in bed sleeping. I had to hold him while he was latched on and sleeping wondering how I was going to weigh myself, get dressed, get my make up on, my lunch bag together, eat breakfast, make coffee all while I mourned the chance of not getting to any of the dishes that are currently overflowing in our sink. My mom is also in the hospital right now which is sucking up some of my time because after work on certain days that I have the time to do it, I have to go see how she's doing for a short time before I get home. I was flipping out and muttering to myself which I do when I'm stressed out and I ended up waking up my husband. He thinks he's getting sick so I felt bad for waking him up. Maverick also ended up waking up but he was still latched on to my boob so I was trying to get dressed and keep my toddler latched on. (Yes I'm still breastfeeding at 14 months - I'm surprised because my supply was low when I started)
Let me explain how some mornings go for me. If I get to leave Maverick in bed and I managed to get dressed and weigh myself he usually ends up stirring at some point because he kind of wakes up and realizes I'm not with him cuddling. So I go grab him and he latches onto my boob and if he ends up going back to sleep I end up spending the rest of my time getting ready while he's latched onto my boob. This involves me doing yoga like moves in the morning to finish eating breakfast, drinking coffee, putting my lunch bag together etc. Some mornings I get back into bed with him after I'm ready and hang out awhile reading a book until I can leave him sleeping in bed and than I gather my stuff and leave the house.
Back to this morning Shawn ended up grabbing him so I can put my dress on and he ended up helping me get my leggings on while Mav was latched on. After I got dressed I grabbed my now awake toddler wondering how I was going to get ready with the short time I had left and get Mav ready. I started making oatmeal for Maverick and oatmeal for myself. I also gathered the make up I was going to wear so I could start putting it on. So I was simultaneously feeding my son and myself oatmeal and putting on make up. I also gave Maverick a spoon so he could try feeding himself some oatmeal so I ended up having to wipe his face and hands as he fought me because he doesn't like the wipes.
Maverick was getting tired he's not a morning baby so he ended up latching back on while I ended up finishing my make up and he ended up falling asleep again latched onto me. By this time it was almost 7:30 my targeted leaving time (it doesn't always happen). I poured water in my water bottle, downed my cup of coffee, got the dirty dishes in the overloaded sink, poured out my electrolyte water, squatted in front of the fridge and threw whole packages of vegetarian turkey, cheese, and all 5 low carb wraps I have left, plus a protein shake and an overload of cheese sticks into my lunch bag. When Mav is latched on there's no way I'm able to portion out what I need for lunch so often I just put the whole pack of something in my lunch bag and bring the leftover home. Miraculously I had an easy time getting this sleeping toddler back into bed while I made two trips up and down the stairs to get what I need for the morning and leave the house.
I also spilled yogurt which I managed to half ass clean with leftover wet ones, I have a yogurt stain on my shoes which I have to get out with shout wipes or throw the shoes in the wash machine later.
So that's an example of one of my hot mess semi-disastrous mornings. I'm grateful I made work on time (since I was spoken to about a month ago for consistent lateness and have had to make a better effort to get here on time), and I'm happy that I was able to get Mav back into bed easily sometimes it's a long process.
I spent my drive full of conflicting emotion. I'm so happy I have a child and I'm so happy I have my husband with me to help take care of him but to me it's hard sometimes. My problems are also so small compared to many burdens other people face and I feel bad for complaining. I'm listening to a book on tape right now that takes place during the holocaust. I think things are hard for me yet the mom's in the book I'm reading now had it so much harder because they had to take care of their kids in a camp with horrible conditions or had to hide their children from German soldiers if they could. They had it brutal, here I am with the freedom to be out in the world with my child and I'm complaining about first world problems of mother hood I feel awful and grateful at the same time.
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